As you all may know, I work with a group of professionals called the Young Leaders Circle for the United Way of Rhode Island. Every year we try to raise money to help the homeless and near homeless find affordable places to live, as this is something I think every American should have a right to – affordable housing. Last year we raised quite a bit of money, which is awesome. I put the fundraiser out over my social media channels and raised about $700 myself. This year I did something a little different. I told people that if they donated I would give them a genuine compliment, and genuine compliments are what I’ve been giving! I’ve managed to raise just over $1,000 this year and we still have a week to go, so we’ll see if we can get that number higher. But here’s what I’ve noticed…
People like compliments based on who they are, not what they look like…
People genuinely like genuine compliments. They get excited about them. Now, I’m not talking about giving someone a compliment based on their appearance, although those can be nice from time to time (“you are soooo hot!”), but I’m talking about really digging deep and finding those one or two things that you truly like about someone or see in someone and giving them that compliment.
I think it’s easy to say things like “you look really nice to today” or “I love the dress you’re wearing, you look beautiful in it.” And these compliments can be a good self-image booster for the recipient, so I don’t want to tell you not to do it, but try and figure out what’s special about this person and give them that as a compliment. Here’s an example from one of the 20 compliments I’ve given out on Facebook to those who made donations:
You’re an influencer in the best kind of way. You spread hope and cheer, you advocate for equality and tolerance, you’re a proponent for the truth, and you’re a protector of the good. I think you help people do the right thing, by doing the right thing yourself. You’ve been a monumental role model in my life and so many others, I’m glad we’re friends. And thank you for your donation!
That was a genuine compliment and well-received. Then I’d put the link below it to the fundraising page on Crowdrise and say “Donate to a great cause and get a genuine compliment from me” – it’s a good strategy, and one that brings joy all around. It’s kind of a win-win.
Genuine compliments breed positivity in others…
I’ve noticed since I started giving genuine compliments on Facebook for everyone to see, it has sparked a number of responses that all seem to be really positive. I’ll give you an example, an old friend posted this on my Facebook timeline:
“Just love the vibe you are bringing to the world right now.”
That is an awesome compliment and full of positivity, right!! I think genuine compliment-giving brings out the best in people. And in these crazy times of politics, debates, and our country in turmoil, genuine compliments can truly get people to see through all the garbage. It gets people jazzed about stuff. I think there’s just a lot of hate in the world and if we all start giving genuine compliments, maybe all of it can be a little better. Or maybe that’s just my idealism and positivity trying to shine through, some may call it being naive, and that’s ok.
Genuine compliments help you connect with people…
This whole experiment of giving out genuine compliments in exchange for donations, although might sound a little corny, has helped me to reconnect with old friends. Which is awesome! There were a few people whom I haven’t talked with in years who actually donated some significant funds and yes, maybe they did it to get a genuine compliment, but I think it’s more than that. I think connection is one of the human necessities and people need to connect with others.
Giving genuine compliments not only makes the recipient feel good about themselves, but it forms a bond between you and the recipient. You connect if only for a split second, but in that moment there’s a connection that could last a lifetime because genuine compliments are remembered on both ends. With all the compliments I’ve given I have pinpointed something about the other person that I truly do like and admire, and that’s the compliment I give. It’s something that’ll be remembered.
Genuine compliments make you feel good…
I think we all know that giving out any type of compliment (well, a genuine one, at least) makes the recipient feel good about themselves, which I think is fantastic. But I’ve also noticed that it makes me feel pretty darn good about myself too! The compliments that I give are well thought out and well written, so it makes me think about the people I’m complimenting, which brings back good memories.
On the same token, it also makes me feel like I’m bringing something good to the world, right? Like, in the face of all this stuff we see on Facebook and in the media, there are these little bits of positivity and kindness sprinkled throughout, which really just makes me feel awesome inside!! I like the fact that people have expressed their interest in these compliments and how it’s made them feel too. It’s important to me to bring good into the world, and do good things, and be good, you know?
Give more genuine compliments…
So, what I’ll do is ask everyone to give more genuine compliments. Even if it’s only one more, just go give someone a genuine compliment. Think about it before you say it or write it to someone. Think about what makes this person different and unique. Why is this person in your life and what do they bring to it? How have they helped you in a way that others have not? What do you see in this person that you’d wish others could see in you? Ask these questions and more and give someone you know a genuine compliment today! It won’t only make them feel better, but it will make you feel better, and maybe someone around you will hear it (or see it) and go do the same. You can bring joy to this world by just being genuine.
And if anyone would like to donate (and get a genuine compliment from me (but it only works if I know you!)) then please donate here, there’s one week left!!
I’ll leave you with one more compliment I wrote for a good friend of mine:
You have a lot of really awesome traits, but one of the coolest things about you is that you genuinely care. I mean, you deeply care about all of this (the world, your family, friends, strangers you just met). You connect with people because you’re an authentic human being. You’re outgoing, enthusiastic, and charismatic, and people feed off that energy. I’m also amazed at your pursuit of knowledge. Your motivation is impressive. You strive, you seek to educate yourself and by doing so you better yourself, and everyone can learn something from that. I’m thankful for our friendship, and thanks again for donating!